Tuesday, September 16, 2008

lack of movement

We are still waiting and hoping for our travel date... or any news really. This Sunday will mark one month since we last heard back from our facilitator. I know she is incredibly busy with so many families headed out there soon (I have no idea how she does it by herself!) but the wait is becoming more and more difficult.

It truly feels like it does at the very end of a pregnancy, with your due date fast approaching and not a sign of labor impending. To make it worse, you wake up one morning to suddenly realize you haven't really felt the baby moving much in a few days. You know that most likely everything is fine, that things are just getting ready behind the scenes and one day soon it's suddenly going to be time... but in the meantime you waver between moments of calm and moments of pure panic.

Those moments are tough. The chest tightens and you find it difficult to breathe as your mind wanders to all of the possibilities. Is something wrong with our paperwork? Is there someone who doesn't think we're the right family for her? Will we still get to travel when we hope, the last week of October? Will we get enough notice that we can actually afford the plane tickets? Did she ever have that cardiology exam - is she okay?

I sure hope some sort of news is just around the corner.