Friday, March 06, 2009

but not lost

Tears are all I seem to find these days. Sad ones, hopeful ones. I barely posted about my concerns and several people have posted and emailed me pledging to help if we do find ourselves short on the airfare. I am again in awe over the kindness that has been shown to us on this journey. It seems the instant my faith begins to break so many people come along and hold it together. So thank you.

To clarify a bit, it seems they were actually considering doing the heart surgery there, right NOW. Our facilitator has spoken with her cardiologist though and for now that's not going to happen because she is so close to adoption. I want so badly to be by her side and we really want to continue our plans for taking her to San Francisco for the robotic repair - I only want her to have the best chance of a smooth recovery, it is all we can do. So now the good news is her file has been noted at last to be of urgent medical concern, so we can just hope the remaining steps in the paperwork process go FAST.

The second little possible problem should not be a problem at all as long as we don't make it one.

April seems to be the most realistic thing to hope for at this point. Our facilitator is Em's best fighter and she is fighting so very hard to hurry things through.

I know I am an incredibly emotional person - I cry big, I fear big, but I love big too. And sometimes all it takes is for someone to suggest that we think about giving up to make everything in me stand up and scream absolutely not. I don't care how hard it is, I don't care how many tears I've cried and may still have yet to cry. I won't give up on her.