Friday, March 06, 2009

losing hope

Little Andjela is in the hospital right now having extensive testing done for her heart condition. It seems only now are the cardiologists there realizing and recommending she have surgery. I'm baffled.

Her paperwork has been completed and given to the Ministry officials, but they still have to do something, send it back to the Social Work Center, then they have to do something and choose us as her adoptive family, then send the file back to the Ministry who can then finally make an appointment for us.

So, any hope of March is fading fast I think. I have been crying all morning, as to be honest I think any hope of completing this adoption is fading even faster. We have just enough to cover airfare in mid-April. Past that, we will probably be around $500 to $700 short.

There is another reason we may not be allowed to complete this adoption, one that I have not shared on this blog yet and won't for at least several more weeks. It would be unfortunate if this were reason enough to stop things, but that's out of our hands.

And right now all I can think of this beautiful little girl whom I have come to love dearly lying in a hospital crib, blood being drawn, tests being run... alone. Just alone. And I cannot stop crying.

In the beginning things went so fast, doors opened like we'd been given a green light from heaven to do this. And now, it seems doomed to failure. And there's nothing I can do to stop it.